Dish served cold: Texas Bruins upset Trojans' stomachs

The Capital Grille, pre-show

The rivalry between UCLA and USC travels well, apparently. A gleeful Lone Star Bruin sent in the letter below, recounting the true story of a gastronomical gag he and his wife played earlier this month on some Trojan friends at the Capital Grille in Houston, Texas.

Read on and have a laugh at the expense of two none-too-quick-on-the-uptake alumni from our arch-rival across town (which, by the way, estimates that its students spend an average $50,000 per year on their educations).

-David Landau

"The Houston area does not have a large population of Bruin or Trojan alumni. So when my wife (UCLA '72, Teaching Credential '73) and I had dinner with two USC grads, it was an uncommon event that required uncommon planning. We met at one of Houston's world-class fine restaurants (we do have much more than BBQ). Prior to arriving, I had the restaurant prepare a "special menu" that included:

Appetizers
California Golden Melons
Blue & Gold Salad
Kareem Cheese

Soup
Clam Chowder Westwood

Main Course
Bruin Mignon
Salmon on Wooden plank
Jackie Robinson stew
Sliced meat, OJ style

Dessert
Bear Claw

Wine
Tokyo Rose

Coffee
We'll be Bruin fresh all night long

But wait, that wasn't the funny part. When we arrived, [our friends] began to read the menu but complained, in all seriousness, "Why is there a special menu?" "Why are there so few choices?" "Can we order from the regular menu?" Only when we pointed out to them that it was a UCLA theme did they finally see the humor and had a good laugh. So the lesson to be learned....if you play a joke on a Trojan, don't be subtle!

Jeff Schneider '70
Katy, Texas

Published Aug 22, 2007 3:32 PM